Freedom!

Not that I’m posting anything earth-shattering.  Not that anything I’ve written (or possibly WILL write) will be literary genius.  Not that I’m sharing juicy secrets.

But it’s very liberating to have a place to work through some of the clutter in my head somewhere with a little anonymity.  I’ve got another blog, as part of a domain, and it’s very closely tied to my identity.  It wouldn’t take much to pull up my full name, phone number, mailing address, etc.  And while I don’t kid myself to think I’m completely invisible in THIS blog, it’s still great to have a more covert space to ramble.

 

questions

Who am I?
What am I doing here?
Where am I going and why do I bother?

So many questions, I wish I had just one answer.

Maybe later.
Maybe when I’m more awake.
Maybe once the voices in my head shut up and let me think in peace.

You tried to answer those questions for me and for a long time I let you. If only I had known better, maybe I’d have more answers now.

But I’m learning.
And I’m growing.
And finally, for the first time, I feel like I’m awakening.

There just may be hope for me yet. In spite of you, in spite of the voices, in spite of the world around me.

It’s not too late.
There’s still time.
My story’s not done yet.

And now that I’ve made up my mind, you won’t stop me. As long as I don’t stop myself. Finally, I understand.

 

Missed opportunities

I saw another position today that looks interesting to me. Basically, another web content producer position. And yet another position I’m not QUITE qualified for. It’s all coming down to AP style and copy editing experience. Looks like I’m on the right track with some of the books and courses I’ve identified. Now to move on to the next step – implementation.

 

The story thus far…

Rather than just jumping right into the thick of things, it feels more organic to start with some sort of introduction or history entry.

College seems like a good place to start – I enrolled as a Communications major, not really knowing what that meant or what I planned to do with it. Turns out Communications was one of the jock-majors at the University – a major that allows athletes to maintain their required GPAs while missing/skipping classes and not putting in a whole lot of academic effort. While the subject matter was interesting and some of the professors were great, I felt lead to change majors.

It was the late ’90s and with y2k looming large, Computer Science seemed like a bright idea. My then-fiance was a CIS major, I had been interested in computers growing up, everyone pushed me in that direction and it seemed like a natural fit. I did stick with the Communications minor.

Now, 6 years after graduation, I realize this isn’t the career for me. I’ve been in a position as a webmaster for the past 5 years and I enjoy certain aspects – design, functionality, defining content – but I detest coding. With recent changes in standards to focus on CSS-based design layout, my job has become much more code-intensive. And that doesn’t even include coding for dynamic features. Add to that some of the political considerations of my current position, I’m burnt out.

So where to go from here? My husband is currently going back to school for his MBA and I’m taking advantage of his career-related tools. Aptitude tests, suggested readings, mental exercises… Whatever I can get my hands on to figure out where I’m going and what I’m doing.

Surprise – it seems writing might be a good direction for me. As a child, I wrote short stories, poems, articles. I always did well on my writing assignments, regardless of the class or subject. I’m also very interested in public relations, advertising and marketing.

I have to believe something is going to break for me soon. The plan is to explore for awhile. This blog will play a big part in that – it’s a place to keep track of my thoughts and progress, practice some skills, and maybe eventually get some feedback. Even if I don’t pursue writing as a career, I feel at this point that it’s something I may keep at as a hobby. We’ll see where it leads.